Back to School Anxiety
By Madeline “Maddy” Sims, LAPC
Have you started school recently and notice a feeling of dread or anxiety? You might be thinking What if the assignments are too hard? What if I struggle to make friends? What if living on campus is too intimidating? Or maybe you are a parent of a kiddo who recently went back to school. Maybe they seem more sensitive or irritable. Or maybe they have never ending questions about classmates/friends, the teacher, and classwork.
Anxiety when returning to school or starting a different phase of school is completely normal and understandable. There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to these experiences. So what are our steps to managing it?
For young adults starting or returning to higher education:
Normalize it. It is okay that you are feeling a hesitation or anxiety towards this experience. This does not mean you are not ready or that you're incapable of exploring this new stage. You have spent many years in school preparing for this, trust in your previous experiences and your ability to adjust.
It’s okay not to know. There will be pieces of this experience that are new to you. It is okay to give yourself the grace to make mistakes and figure it out. No one is doing this perfectly without hesitation or mistakes. You are human and it is okay to not get it exactly right.
Have support systems in place. If you are moving away, it may be helpful to set up calls with friends or family from back home. This can offer comfort and support as you navigate new environments and people. If you are commuting, try making time to hang out with friends and family to offer yourself time to reset and breathe. When meeting new classmates, it may be helpful to verbalize your nervousness. More likely than not other students are experiencing something very similar. This can help establish common ground to form friendships and support.
Speak kindly to yourself. Let yourself sit with the anxiety and discomfort and provide self-reassurance. Try using affirmations like I am capable of figuring this out, I am not alone in managing this, I do not need to have everything figured out, it is okay if I make mistakes. Be kind to yourself while you adjust. You will learn to navigate this new experience.
For parents of school age children:
Acknowledgeyour child's experience of worry and anxiety towards a new experience. It can be difficult to see our children in distress and we may feel tempted to fix it or make it go away. This is completely normal and understandable, but helping them manage it themselves (with your guidance) will support them in the long run. Trust in their resilience and capability to learn new skills.
Help them build confidence and resilience by coming up with small steps to managing anxiety or uncertainty. For example, your child has asked multiple questions about the kids in their class and who they are going to play with. You may respond by saying “It sounds like you're worried about making friends. Let's come up with some ways you can get to know the kids in your class”. You may then talk about how to introduce yourself, ask someone to play with you, or ask about someone's interests. When they try these solutions, offer praise for being brave or trying new things.
Help build the skills they’ll need by modeling them. If your child's anxiety starts to become overwhelming, model deep breathing or relaxation techniques to help them regulate. The more they see an adult they trust using these tools, the more likely they are to use them themselves. It won’t be perfect, and that’s okay. There will be times where this is more difficult than others, especially if it’s a rushed morning and your child is refusing to get ready. Allow yourself some grace as well when managing this experience.
Ensure your child is well rested. This may look like a nightly routine to help your child start winding down. It is also helpful to minimize screentime in the bedroom or right before bed to avoid distractions that may keep them awake. Being tired can make things harder. They may feel more irritable, agitated, or sensitive. A well rested body and mind creates a better foundation for learning and regulation.
When to seek out extra support for anxiety
Anxiety can be a normal part of life. It offers us information about the things that worry us or feel new. While it can be uncomfortable, it isn’t always the enemy. However, if it feels like anxiety is showing up constantly or running the show, it may be helpful to talk to someone. Anxiety doesn’t need to be a constant guest in our house, it does its job best when it's a visitor passing through. We notice it, we acknowledge what it’s saying, and we let it move on.
Visit https://www.elevtherawellness.com/contact to schedule an appointment with Maddy.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute clinical advice or establish a therapist-client relationship. If you are in crisis, please call or text 988.